Sadam

by NAC

Sadam Vagisori was carefree and gay. It was November 1930 and he and best friends, Grayson and Liberty enjoyed the spoiled fruits of family success -fine tweeds, imported shaving oils and male enhancement from The New York Penis Center. The depression would later take a toll on all three, but for now life was exhilarating. Grayson Cockplaster and Liberty Analton were already members of the Stallion club though Sadam had failed the entrance exam. Sadam was small boned and the treatment had not taken. He strapped a copy of the Joy of Cooking to his testicles and kept a jar of frosting in the shower in vain attempts to nourish things along. He modeled himself on Warren Harding, the 29th president and slept in a pair of suspenders.
Years later on his death bed at age of 91 he was diagnosed as bi-polar and put on prescription medicine. Four hours before expiration, he felt relief from 70 years of raging anxiety and inquired about a home gym. In 1961 he had tried an all apple sauce diet but gave it up in favor of San Janeiro style shish kabob.
Sadam wondered what would become of his 20 year old self. Though blessed with an excellent education, he had no skills or ability to concentrate. He favored a life aboard ships- preferably in dry dock where he enjoyed the security of his homeland combined with the excitement of metal toilets. November would be a turning point; Against the advice radio therapists, Sadam took a job with The Finnish Navy as a translator and parlor boy. He remained on the job for 11 years before abandoning ship in Volgograd and joining one of World War II's mobile game shows. It was on tour where he met his wife, Eliza Probofortelingus and convinced her to move back to America where he reunited with Grayson and Liberty and opened the first post-depression Peugot Dealership in Edison, New Jersey. Grayson and Liberty had both been living in soup kitchens were happy to be in business. The enterprise flourished and Sadam learned to drive. He once crashed a race car.
The Vagisoris had three daughters. One left home at age 11 and moved to Salt Lake City. Another grew up to be a a famous journalist who uncovered scandals. The third designed brochures for Holland America. Sadam never joined the Stallion Club and eventually reconciled to his smallness. His loves were not remarkable. He stayed friends with Grayson and Liberty and kept a photo of the three of them in his wallets for 50 years.